WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN
First of all, I haven’t done one of these in like two weeks, so you know it’s going to be rough. Things that don’t help: I’m stuck in San Jose for the week and have to go to a Sharks game on Thursday.
Wings v. Bolts. Stevie Y is back in the house, which spawned today’s theme of “Return of the Mack.” 7:30. JLA. Not going? No worries. VERSUS has you covered tonight.
BEST NAME NOMINEE
Bruno Gervais sounds like a pornstar. Winner, Aisle 1.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
:: Barry Trotz and Co. got worked 4-1 on Saturday by the Winged Wheel.
:: The Wild dropped the Lightning 3-1 on Monday.
:: The Wings clowned the Lightning in their last meeting, a 6-2 drubbing in Tampa on February 17th of last year. Pavel Datsyuk scored a pair, Danny Cleary had a goal and two assists, and Niklas Kronwall, Justin Abdelkader and Darren Helm rounded out the scoring effort.
MEMBA ME?
No former Wings on the Bolts. (I think.) Somewhere, Mattias Ritola cries softly into his pillow.
OH, HI AGAIN
Nobody registers as having played on the Wings. That said, I’m waiting for Petrella to bust through the wall like the Kool-Aid guy and tell me how wrong I am.
(Ed. Note: Fail. Thx @detroithockey96.) Drew Miller. Duh.
MORE FAIL! Petrella tells me that Doug Janik also played for the Lightning, to the tune of 136 games. See kids, this is what happens when you drink beer and try to write a pre-game. Or, it turns into a Disch type post. You prefer the latter.
BOOM
Johan Franzen :: Pavel Datsyuk :: The ‘Tuzz
Valtteri Filppula :: Henrik Zetterberg :: Jiri Hudler
Dan Cleary :: Danger Helm :: Fabian Brunnstrom
Salt N Pepper Miller :: Justin Abdelkader :: Tommy Holmbanger
Nicklas Lidstrom :: Ian White
Johnny Shitbox :: Niklas Kronwall
Jakub Kindl :: Brad Stuart
Tiberius Howard
Ty Conkblock
BABY WHEN YOU BROKE MY HEART
Jan Mursak [left ankle]
Patrick Eaves [face]
Cory Emmerton
Mike Commodore
The TPL Name Game “Three Stars”
Just like last season, submit your nickname suggestions (follow the theme!), and we’ll use our Facebook page to allow people to vote for the best… the winner gets a free TPL t-shirt!
PETRELLA: Uwe “YOU LIED TO ME” Krupp
DISCH: Pavel “Watch My Flow” Datsyuk
HOLLIS: Fabian “Here I Am Once Again” Brunnstrom
STEVIE: Jiri “All the Nasty Things You’ve Done” Hudler
THOUGHTS FROM THE BOTTOM OF (MULTIPLE) PINTS
:: Of course, this is Stevie Y’s return to the Joe, which means we are in for an evening full of classic Yzerman highlights and Ken Daniels gushing over The Captain after every commercial break. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, mind you. I’ve just never seen FSD cover something like this without cramming it down your throat every five seconds. Deep down, though, I’m secretly hoping John Keating sneaks into the GM’s box and interviews Yzerman instead of a Wings player at the first intermission.
:: Sidenote: I wrote most of this last night over a couple of beers and some room service. Pass or Fail: Sweet Potato Waffle Fries. Leave your thoughts in the comments.
:: The Lightning haven’t won in Detroit since 1994. Let that sink in. Can’t remember what 1994 was like? Well, here’s a few notable things that happened that year to help jog your memory:
- Nancy Kerrigan got clubbed in the leg via Tonya Harding and Co. (Hey, that happened in Detroit!)
- Schindler’s List won Best Picture at Academy Awards. Whoopi Goldberg hosted the event.
- The NFL announced that the Jacksonville Jaguars would become the league’s 30th franchise.
- O.J. Simpson didn’t do it (according to the court.)
- The New York Rangers won the Stanley Cup.
- In their win over the Red Wings on January 12th, the Lightning got goals from Shawn Chambers, Chris Joseph, Denis Savard and John Tucker.
- In the same game, Steve Yzerman had an assist and went -1.
MUSICAL INSPIRATION
Sweet potato fries in any form are always a good decision. Fact.
Absolutely HATE sweet potato fries. So I vote FAIL. Also, no gushing from Ken Daniels and FSD tonight. Game is Versus exclusive. So instead we’ll get Pierre McGuire standing way too close to Yzerman during an interview.
HERE COMES KOOL-AID MAN!
Drew Miller played in Tampa. And so did Jug Danik, but he hardly counts. He played 131 of his 181 career NHL games as a member of the Bolts.
Duly noted above, complete with Kool-Aid Man.
Sweet potatoes weren’t meant to be fries. I could go into a discussion of densities, water to carbohydrate ratios and starch chemistry, but really that’s all irrelevant. Put simply it’s unholy and unnatural to defile fries with sweet potatoes.
Look deep into your soul and try to tell yourself that isn’t true.
I’m with you. Hate them, but when you are freakin’ hungry, you find a way to force them down.
There’s a 1,000 word post here somewhere about SPF’s. I can sense it. On the list of definitive fail, this three-bean salad I got from the company cafeteria is a crime against humanity. Much as I hate sweet potato fries and think they’re for posers, I would kill for a batch of those to rid my memory of what’s sitting in this little plastic container (which I put in the microwave…because I’m a bad ass like that).
The way to get around 3-bean salad is to put it on real salad or slap salad dressing on them. I’ve done that when out at field camps, needing to get those beans down somehow.
Sweet potato waffle fries are a fail. For me, it has to be subtle. Waffle fries are too much sweet potato in your face all at once.
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