Feb 6 :: We Should Have Shotguns for this Kind of Deal

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
The Red Wings and Kings play for the fourth and final time this season. Saturday afternoon, 4pm Eastern puck drop. THIS IS THE VALLEY! WE AIN’T GOT NO FRIENDLY PLACES IN THE VALLEY!
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
1. Niklas Kronwall is missing another game after “tweaking” his knee/ankle. Nothing to see here, move along.
2. Jimmy Howard gets the nod again. The Kings game before the most recent one, I had this to say about Jimmy — and it’s equally as appropriate today, given the theme of this pre-game: “Mmmm MMMM! GoddddDAMN Jimmy! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster’s Choice, right, but his springs this GOURMET shit on us!”
3. After a strong game against the San Jose Sharks, the Red Wings went limp against the Ducks. Perhaps they can use this third game on the western road trip will act as a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
The most recent meeting between these two teams was a 3-2 Kings victory on January 23rd. It was the only matchup of the previous three that the Kings have won.
OH, HI AGAIN / MEMBA ME?! / BEST NAME NOMINEE
This time of year is becoming rather boring in this section, isn’t it? So many repeats
 :: No former Wings in LA.
 :: Brad Stuart (and Andreas Lilja) former Kings.
 :: BNN is Randy Jones. Porn Alias.  
THEIR LAST GAMES
–Detroit lost to HATE! Three to hate. 
–Strangely, Los Angeles’ final game was also against HATE. They, however, had a positive outcome, 6-4. 
RECORDS
–Detroit Red Wings :: 28-20-10 (3rd in Central, 8th in West) :: 12-12-6 on the road.
–Bloods and Crips :: 35-19-3 (2nd in Pacific, 4th in West) :: 16-9-2 at home.
KINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
Well, not Ilya Kovalchuk. Hey, did you hear?!? He was traded to the Devils. Not the “favorite” for his services, the Kings. 

EXPECTED LINEUP
Zetterberg — Datsyuk — Holmstrom
Cleary — Filppula — Bertuzzi
Draper — Helm — Eaves
Williams — Miller — Maltby
Lidstrom — Rafalski
Ericsson — Stuart
Lebda — Meech
Howard (starting)
Osgood
Scratch
Ville “I Keep Hearin’ You’re Concerned About My Happiness” Leino
Brad “But All That Thought You’re Giving Me Is Conscience I Guess” May*
Injuries
Andreas “Countin’ Flowers on the Wall That Don’t Bother Me At All” Lilja
Johan “Playin’ Solitaire ‘Til Dawn With a Deck of 51” Franzen
Niklas “Smokin’ Cigarettes and Watchin’ Captain Kaaaaangaroo” Kronwall
*I also would have accepted Brad “In The Fifth My Ass Goes Down” May
QUICK THOUGHTS
1. The Kings are going for nine in a row. Wouldn’t one of those streaks be nice? When it started, the Wings and Kings were basically jockeying back and forth for 8th and 9th. Now they’re 4th. Must be nice.
2. Johan Franzen is set to return to the lineup for the next game, so this may be our final looky look at someone else… although it seems rather improbable at this point that anyone but Brad May and/or Ville Leino are moving. Nevertheless, I expect a huge game from Drew Miller and Patrick Eaves. Just because.
3. Derek Meech and Brett Lebda. Let’s see where this goes, shall we?
4. Goaltender Jimmy Howard is clearly the guy now, so some consistency would be swell — and I don’t mean from him (he usually delivers the goods), I mean from the guys around him. The Wings have trouble stringing together back-to-back efforts.
5. Thanks in part to the Leastern Conference’s complete and utter incompetence, particularly against teams from the West, a victory today may not propel the Red Wings into the playoff picture. Two points would give the Wings 66, the total that both the Flames and Predators had going into Saturday. Scoreboard watching sucks, but it’s a way of life at the moment. We’re pulling for San Jose and Tampa Bay today. 
6. Well, we’d have to be talkin’ about one charming motherfuckin’ pig. I mean he’d have to be ten times more charming than that Arnold on Green Acres, ya’know what I’m sayin’?
WHAT WE LEARNED vs. the HATE
Hate hate hate. Hatesy McHaterstein. 

KING WE COVET (JJ Special)
HAVE IT YOUR WAY, BITCH!

3 thoughts on “Feb 6 :: We Should Have Shotguns for this Kind of Deal”

  1. Can we switch that to Ville "Philadelphia Freedom" Leino (I know, it doesn't fit with the rest of them but that's all I've got)?

  2. Oh my God, that's hilarious!

    You know what… the trade had happened before this post went up, but I NEEDED all of those players to be present to make that reference work. Selfish me.

    You just called the next TPL Nicknames Theme: Elton John songs. Suggestions welcome — shoot me an e-mail.

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