My beard is kicking this guy’s beard’s ASS.
Final Score (Hi Dad!)
SEVEN to 4, Wings. Series tied 1-1.
Disch missed all eleven goals on account of he was taking part in the rehearsal dinner of our number one fan – and as of this writing, there’s a new member to the Discher clan (like, legally. I’m sure she’s been a part of the family for quite some time).
So what’d Disch miss? Oh not much… five goals scored in under four minutes, a back-and-forth battle all night, curly fries for Z’berg, Gator kicking Willi Vanilli in the sack, and Shane Doan flat out jazzin’ in his huggies.
Jimmy Howard left a little to be desired. He’s currently sporting a GAA of about 3.50. But guess what… Ilya “Vezina” Bryzgalov is carrying a 4.50.
And the ratio of octopi to snakes is like 4:1 right now. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure there were more hats on the ice for Zetterberg’s hat trick than there have been plastic reptiles.
SUCK IT, GLENDALE.
Justin Abdelkader ran over everything that wore an ugly brownish maroon color, and had his efforts rewarded with a goal. The sigh you might have heard came from Jason Williams, who knew – at that moment – his career as a Red Wing had come to an end. Say hi to Brad May for me, Willi!
You know who rocks? Valtteri Filppula. That’s who.
You know who else rocks? Dena, Krononymous, and Jennbikegirl who have combined to pledge $100 to my facial hair at Beard-a-Thon. I can’t promise Wookie noises (I’ve never been a good impressionist), but I promise to upload photos showing progress when there’s something to show. I’m $22 behind Hollis, which – in addition to the great view – isn’t a bad spot to sit. The fact that two of us are in the Top Ten money-raisers already is something we can all be proud of. Way to go (again), Hockeytown!
WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Wings and Coyotes. Game 3. Sunday. 3pm.
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
With home-ice advantage now in hand, the Wings return to the Joe for Game 3. Both TPL Mom and TPL Dad will be there. No word yet on which is going to be more obnoxious to Coyotes fans. Oh, who are we kidding… there aren’t any of those aside from the eleven who just learned they have a team down there.
SERIES HERO
Henrik Zetterberg fed me Arby’s today. That counts.
THE GOAT
Jason Williams. Fair or not, the Wings were 0-1 WITH HIM and are 1-0 without. Ignore the fact that all three goals against in Game 1 were on the kill and he doesn’t play a man down. Shhhhh… ignorance.
BREWING VILLAIN
Shane Doan, despite his covetiness, is an annoying little son of a bitch.
EXPECTED LINEUP
Franzen — Datsyuk — Holmstrom
Bertuzzi — Zetterberg — Filppula
Eaves — Helm — Loins
Miller — Draper — Abdelkader
Lidstrom — Rafalski
Kronwall — Stuart
Ericsson — Lilja
Howard (starting)
Osgood
Scratch
Brett “Fastlove” Lebda
Derek “FREEDOM!” Meech
Jason “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” Williams
Injuries
Kirk “Heal the Pain” Maltby
Honorable Mentions
Nicklas “Father Figure” Lidstrom
Henrik “I Want Your Sex” Zetterberg
Henrik “It’s Cold Out There, But It’s Warm in Bed” Zetterberg
James “Faith” Howard
Chris “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” Osgood
Valtteri “Everything She Wants” Filppula
Mike “Jesus to a Child” Babcock
Niklas “You Put the Boom Boom Into My Heart” Kronwall
Darren “You Sent My Soul So High” Helm
Dan “When Your Lovin’ Starts” Cleary
Tomas “A Jitterbug Into My Brain” Holmstrom
Pavel “It Goes a Bang Bang Bang” Datsyuk
Justin “Til My Feet Do The Same” Abdelkader
Todd’s Corner
Todd “I’m Never Gonna Dance Again” Bertuzzi
Todd “Guilty Feet Have Got No Rhythm” Bertuzzi
Todd “Though It’s Easy to Pretend” Bertuzzi
Todd “I Know You’re Not a Fool” Bertuzzi
Todd “Should Have Known Better Than To Cheat a Friend” Bertuzzi
Todd “And Waste This Chance That I’ve Been Given” Bertuzzi
QUICK THOUGHTS
1. If Henrik Zetterberg goes curly again, I’ll make love to the television.
2. Okay, that’s gross, and I’m sorry. Wham! does that to me. If I’m caught once, I won’t do it again, though. I’m looking at you, George.
3. I don’t think we’ve seen the best of James T. Howard in this series yet.
4. At the same time, we may have seen the best of the Yotes.
5. Have you ever seen the Wake Me Up video? It’s quite possibly the gayest thing that’s ever been put on celluloid. And I’ve seen In & Out.
6. Man, you’re learning an awful lot about me today, aren’t you? He humps TVs, he knows a shit-ton about George Michael, he saw In & Out… I’m an open book, people. Learn to love it.
7. If I continued in this vein throughout the playoffs, would you post deep, dark secrets of yours in the comments? That might be worth it.
WHAT WE LEARNED in Game 2
If the Wings score five or more, they SHOULD be okay.
i had a "choose life" shirt when i was a kid, because thats what they wore in the video. had no idea i was promoting some kind of political agenda…said shirt has since been burned.
jason "so why don't you just let me go" williams…i bet he'd look good in one of those shirts. of course, by "good", i mean "not so sucking awful as the sight of him in the winged wheel"…
now if you'll excuse me, i have to go back to making my octopuss from a big montana bun and 8 free curly fries…
Wow, Kronner's nickname rocks so hard that I'll just ignore your advanced degree in Wham!ology.
I'm left digging for a feed until the damned Indians game is over. How is that a national broadcast? Thanks Gary. Arse. I want my FSD (sung to the tune of "I want my MTV" since we're all 80s today.
The Arby's where I got my free curly fries was playing George Michael as I ordered. This could not be anymore perfect.
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